This week our guest post “Blessings for School” comes to us from author, minister, mama, and 3MMM Team member, Erin Robinson Hall. As we approach the new school year, we are excited to offer a short series of guest posts on teaching and learning and supporting those who do. Erin shares her reflections about how ministers can make space and offer support for students at many ages and stages. We also have “A Prayer for Teachers.”
Blessings for School
Two items in our home that let me know we are heading into the change of season: backpacks and water bottles.
Our four school-age children give a lot of thought to how they will personalize these simple items. Because both the book bags and water bottles have to be clear, they like to add stickers and keychains to add flair and personality. When the four little hooks by the door hold book bags ready to go, I pause and offer a breath prayer of gratitude for summer adventures. I exhale anxious prayers for the school year that will begin.
We typically mark four seasons on the calendar by weather – winter, spring, summer, and fall. We name the liturgical seasons that we know by color and liturgy. There are other seasons that loom large for people in faith communities that are connected to schools. Winter Refresh, Wild Spring, Summer Slow, and School Hustle are major seasons for my family.
“School Hustle” season begins with collecting school supplies. The shift from packing sunscreen and pool goggles to packing lunches, pencils, and homework requires attention. As much as I try to explain to my children that the same lunch box, calculator, and pencil pack that was fully functional just two months ago will in fact still work perfectly fine in August, I usually sigh and let them load the shopping cart with new supplies. I get it. The new beginning feels fresh with potential. We want everything to feel as sharp and ready as that brand new Ticonderoga pencil.
Marking the Season
My family marks this season with a liturgical practice called Blessing of the Backpacks. Like many churches, our church’s sanctuary is filled with students of all ages bringing their backpack with them to worship. Preschoolers to grad students held their backpacks while we prayed. What a sacred image – young ones, vulnerable ones are invited to bring something important to their daily practices into the space where they learn promises of faith.
A Blessing for Seminary
The moment was a special one for us this year. We honored Cassie Montelago, the Director of Children’s Ministry, for her years of ministry. She began as a college student intern. She will soon begin seminary, and the congregation got to honor her and bless her for this new season of learning.
While we prepared special moments for her, she also decided to gift the children. For each child in the church, she gave them a framed picture, a little gift, and a handwritten note. The notes described things she noticed and appreciated about each child. This was a remarkable gift, and something we will always treasure. We are truly blessed as a Church to have young ministers who name and honor the gifts of children.
Christ-like Care
As I think about ministry with children, I am so grateful for the ways my own family has been embraced by Christ-like care through this church. This congregation is not a “bells and whistles” institution; there was not a hundred-member children’s choir nor a basketball league to join. When we began attending the church three years ago, there was one other family with children and a heap of friendly, kind people. A tiny children’s table with coloring books was right at the front corner of the sanctuary to welcome children into the worship space. That was enough for us.
From those days, the ministry has grown to what we call “busting at the seams.” Gradually, families from diverse backgrounds began to visit worship, find welcome, and make a spiritual home.
My husband and I, fresh from significant church hurt, brought our bruised souls to worship. We cried through many Sundays. Others did too, each with their stories of mistrust from former churches and general curiosity.
Wholey Welcomed
We began to learn that our children were welcomed, wholly. Neurodiverse kids? We loved the sound of your clapping hands. Can’t sit still though the service? Looks like you need to help collect the offering! You’re anxious and need to lay down under the pew to feel safe? Here’s a pillow. A sensory room for children was ready downstairs for anyone with sensory needs. Family after family found a space where children lead liturgies, ring the singing bowl, serve as communion celebrants, collect the offering.
Children with unique needs are not hushed or escorted out but welcomed fully as participants and worship leaders. Parents are welcomed, without a lot of judgement, to just show up, catch our breath, and rest in the welcome we find. There is not an emphasis on busy church calendaring or event attendance. The ministers often text and respond with “How can we support you in that?” As the worship leader said this week, “We like to begin with asking, what does your family need, not what does the church need?” This church is not perfect, but its practices have made a difference.
Ministry with families with children means attending to the shift of schedules, priorities, and needs. Especially in this back to school season, let us wonder what it would look like for faith communities to embrace excitement, make space for grief, remember but notice, and lean into curiosity?
1. Embrace excitement
We packed a bunny into a book bag for “Stuffy Day.” We signed the exuberant girl’s permission slip to audition for the school play. And we cheered that a little guy got a treasure box prize. We listened to the school fight song practiced on the trumpet. And each of them shared those moments with their church leaders on Sunday.
Small, seemingly insignificant things become really big deals when you are in school. Kindergarteners wearing pajamas to school? That’s the greatest day ever! Freshmen winning the spirit stick at the pep rally? Are you kidding?! That’s amazing! The tiny highs and lows of each day are experiences that can build emotional literacy, skills for resilience, and self-discovery.
How can faith leaders stay attuned to the events that a child, tween, or youth is looking forward to? How can faith leaders make space to bring these experiences into regular dialogue with practices of spiritual formation?
If the phrase “it doesn’t matter” reaches your lips, hit the pause button and rewind. What matters to them, matters to you.
2. Make space for grief
Adults know change is hard. We must remember, change is hard for children and youth and tweens and their parents and their coaches and their families. All of us. For every family who is diving in to a new school year, they are bringing along a year of life. Maybe grief is present, too.
Some questions to consider: What has happened in the last year for this family? What was life like the last time they met new teachers or struggled in school or went to that first game – and what is different now? Ambiguous loss and change can leave us unable to sift through the intersecting feelings we carry. Wise faith leaders will step alongside children and families, ready to name those feelings.
Some questions for your congregation: What would it be like to do a grief inventory of your faith community? What spaces could be opened up within your worship practices, Sunday schools, and learning moments for various experiences of grief?
3. Remember, but notice
“I remember those days.” This kind remark is an offer of connection, and helps parents know we can survive the carpool hustle, too. Yet, so many experiences these days are markedly different.
Faith communities, remember your school experiences well, but don’t assume you know exactly what parenting children in schools is like today. Consider the way that classrooms have changed in the last decade, and how they have changed in just the last four years since the multiple pandemics.
Notice the things teachers and parents must do, and hold them in your imagination. The weighty demands on students and teachers for testing, meeting benchmark assessments and general expectations has increased. Not to mention the fears and worries we face these days, and how those have reshaped education.
One example? The clear book bags my children carry are a safety measure. The clear, non-metal water bottles are because metal detectors are installed at the school entrance, and staff do not want the alarms set off by stainless steel water bottles. Tiny matters that don’t bother my children, but nod to the fact that we are parenting in a different world than my parents faced.
4. Lean in to curiosity
It’s good to be known. It’s a gift to be known and loved. As the prophet Ted Lasso reminded us, “Be curious, not judgmental.” (Was it Ted? Either way, it was wise!)
A posture of curiosity can go a long way towards compassionate care. Chat with children in your congregation and perhaps ask things like:
- What is the best part of your school day? Which part of school do you wish you could do for an extra hour?
- What part of your school day makes you feel frustrated? Worried?
- If you had a magic wand to make your school day better, what would you change?
- At the end of a school week, I wonder . . .?
Then, ask these same questions to the parents, caregivers, and teachers in your congregation.
- What would it be like for a faith community to notice, grieve, and embrace what families with children are experiencing?
- What might you imagine together when you lean in to curiosity?
Imagination grows when we nurture it.
Here are my top resources for nurturing imagination for parenting, ministry with children and students, and spiritual life with children. Take a look at what these authors have to share:
- Faith at Home practices from Traci Smith (We sure do love this minister! Hang out with Traci and other writers sometime at The Writing Table!)
- Liturgies for Parents by Kayla Craig
- Hands Free Mama Rachel Macy Stafford
- Illustrated Ministry
A Prayer for Teachers
One more blessing for school, is to pray for teachers from preschool to grad school. They bring so much value into our lives. We can bless their efforts with a word of encouragement or a congregational prayer.
You are welcome to use this prayer with permission and attribution. Pass the blessing on! Need a .PDF of this prayer? We are happy to share.
